A Non-Viable Pregnancy
- The Involved Dad
- May 25, 2018
- 2 min read
This post part 2 of the Misadventure mini-series. These posts are taken straight out of the journal I kept at the time.
Its been a couple of weeks now. A long couple of weeks. At the OB's visit we found out for sure it was a non-viable pregnancy. The way the doc handled it was awful. He clearly did not read the chart before coming into the room and started asking us questions as if the pregnancy was normal. This not only confused us, but it also gave us false hope. After realizing that The Mrs wasn't de-robbed and in a patient gown, he asked why. It wasn't until this point that he decided to read the chart and saw what was actually going on. He then tried to play it off, blame it on the nurse, and even had the nerve to joke about it. Honestly, I was about an inch away from punching him in the face. Thankfully I didn't though. Probably because we were in such a state of shock.
Its a very odd feeling when you get this type of news. You don't know wether to be sad, mad, or what? I really didn't know how to feel. When we got home, that's when I finally broke down. You see, The Mrs had time to process everything and mourn since she had time off from work. I didn't. Instead, I had a real shitty week at work and was forced to compartmentalize everything. It was good to finally be able to let go. We comforted each other as we mourned our loss. What made it more difficult was the fact that we were alone in the process. None of our friends or family even knew we were pregnant. We hadn't told anyone about what was going on and we didn't plan to either. [I don't know if this decision came out of a sense of embarrassment, shame, or just self-preservation, but
having gone through it, I would encourage others to reach out to those in their close circle for support. It's a tough burden to bare, and going through it alone doesn't help at all.]
After a few more visits to the OB, we were relieved to learn that it was not an ectopic pregnancy and that surgery shouldn't be required. We also decided that methyltrexate was a better route for us when compared to a D&C.
We would find out later that night that neither would be necessary because The Mrs would miscarry naturally. I'll share this story in part 3.
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